realization 101

i finally deleted the cookie pictures in my friendster album...

why?


why? because it will be a constant reminder of what will never be and what i will never have

happy ending

it's nice to see that things have been settled between two good friends. at least, me kasama na ulit ako mag-starbucks, manlait at mang-amoy kung sino ang bading! hahahahahaha! seriously, it's nice that they had already patched whatever their differences were.

love you guys :)

post-valentine's day date. actually, nakita lang namin si dae sa sm hehehe

epilogue

For you,

I was attracted to you since the first day that I saw you during one of those Sunday masses. I knew that you are friends with the other pastoral workers, but I was too hesitant to ask them about you. That smile of yours is one of the guilty pleasures I enjoy every time I’ll see you. Not long after, introductions were made between us. Thanks to the help of a mutual friend, we started exchanging messages which helped me in knowing you more, and eventually, liking you more.

During one of those exchanges of SMS, you were able to confirm my greatest fear in this blossoming “friendship”. Yes, you were married and have a 7-year old child. The revelation sent me celebrating the new year with a heavy heart. You said that you are separated, but I was too afraid to ask what does that separation means. Geographically separated? Legally separated?

Fear crept in, I chose to keep my silence for fear of knowing more, and eventually, for fear of being hurt once again. What you had disclosed did not hinder me from being attached to you, but I took it as a challenge, keeping in mind that you are already separated. I was willing to take the risk, the risk of being ridiculed and be the center of gossip in the society that separation is not accepted wholeheartedly. I was willing to cross the line, and I was also willing to take for granted people who set the line that I was willing to cross. You called me by the name which means “virtuous”. I claimed the name as if it was really mine and you even went as far as calling me “my virtuous”.

You never failed to make me smile and brighten my day. You also never cease to amaze me as I discover something new about you each passing day. You made me feel as if I am one of the important persons in your life. During my special day, you surprised me with one of your God-given talent which makes you standout among guys I know. The cookies sent me smiling all throughout the day. Every time I was feeling down, I’ll just take a look in my mobile phone, and view your gift, and I’ll be feeling ok again. Friends kept telling me to be cautious of my emotions in case this will be like my previous “encounters” with guys who have habits of being extra sweet but in the end will left me hanging. But being the hard-headed that I am known for, I never listened. I let myself fall for you; I fell very hard for you. And today, I am suffering the consequences of my actions. I assumed that the “friendship” could lead to something, and I expected that we share the same feelings for each other, I was wrong.

Days have passed and still, I got no response from you. I’ve stopped communicating with you for the fear of losing my self respect, making a fool out of myself, almost to the point of pleading for your response. I am left hanging once again, not knowing what’s next? Tell me if this is the end of our “friendship, be man enough to admit that you have no intention of reciprocating whatever feelings I have for you. Have the courage to tell me that it is better to keep our distance from each other, that this is the best for the two of us. Then a peaceful heart and mind will once again reign within me…Is this really the end bossing? Tell me, so that I can start searching again for my Noah...

Pia

021409
2230H

happy hearts day

it's the time of the year when people becomes sentimental, hearts and red are the "in" thing and the time when Cupid makes his yearly appearance...

Yes, it's February 14, Valentine's Day once again.

FEb.14 has been equated with lovers eversince I can remember. It's the time when lovers or those "in a relationship" (the term that people used nowadays thanks to Friendster) profess and show their love to their respective partners. It's also the time of the year when single people like me tends to become bitter and jealousy creeps in. hehehe!

During my first year as a unatttached person, i dreaded celebrating Valentine's Day. I hate it when I see couples showing public display of affection (well, even in ordinary days, i still cringe) and of course, ladies holding their own sets of flowers. sigh....

Seriously, being single for almost 2 years now, i've learned some valuable lessons that helped me face February 14, 2009 with a smile in my face.

first lesson:

being single is not equated to being miserable

second lesson:

you don't need Valentine's Day to show your love to your loved ones

and third lesson, and the most valuable lesson for me:

February 14 is not only for those "in a relationship". Valentine's Day is for everyone: for those who have loved and lost, for those who are inlove, for those who are secretly longing and waiting for that special person to come to their lives, for those who are single and chose to take the path of single blessedness... more importantly, Valentine's Day is about celebrating with those people who really matters...

*spent Valentine's Day with my grad school friends, Cla and Cris, at Gateway :)

ang sagot sa tanong na walang sagot ay acceptance...

as i am writing this, i am still patiently waiting for your reply. hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang nasabi o nagawa ko at bigla ka na lang tumahimik at hindi na ako kinausap or sinagot man lang sa mga text messages ko

parang antagal na, pero to think na it was only last week when you made me feel very very special because of the cookies. but now, you're making me feel that im worthless and

senti

im liking you more and more

kahit na sabihin natin na deadma ka most of the time

but everytime naman na magkausap tayo, you make me feel as if i am special in your life

takot akong magtanong

takot akong malaman yung totoo

takot akong ma-reject ulit

pero mas natatakot akong isipin na darating din yung time, matitigil din itong kalokohan ko...


*senti mode

the sweetest thing

dumaan siya kanina sa church before magstart ang 6pm mass, binati nya ko ng happy birthday, then me inabot siya sa akin tapos nagpaalam na... hindi ako nakatiis, i opened the paper bag. i saw first the letter then the i opened the box, voila! i saw the cookies, first the letter "P" then the "i"... waah!!!

he baked the cookies daw kanina sa office....

buong misa, naka-smile ako. nawirduhan na yata yung mga nasa paligid ko na nagsisimba. paguwi ko na bahay.

up to now, di pa din nawawala ang smile ko..

bossing, thank you for making my birthday memorable :)

happy

happy happy happy birthday to me...

birthday ko to, di nyo birthday to hehehehe


but...happy nga ba?